We’ve all done it. You know, purchased an amazing item of clothing that is absolutely perfect…except for the fact that it doesn’t fit and not even a wrench could get the zipper to close in the back. But it was nearly fifty percent off on sale or miraculously the last left on the rack in the color you liked. Must have been a sign from above that one day, if you worked hard enough at the gym, it would fit like a glove….right? Self-delusion is pretty powerful stuff.
I’ve had an eight year exercise in frustration with an “aspiration” dress. It was a simple black shift that miraculously fit one day in the dressing room at Nordstrom. I eagerly snapped it up, but sometime between the drive home and hanging it in my closet, it must have shrunk two sizes. Don’t ask me how or why. All I know is that it never, ever fit on its own volition again. Extra-strength Spanx did help, admittedly, when breathing freely was less important than giving that full price purchase a field trip. But most of the time, it hung in a corner of my closet beckoning like a sexy yet aloof boyfriend who you couldn’t stop obsessing over.
Twice a year, I methodically go through my closet when the seasons change to get rid of things that no longer work for me. It’s better to donate what I’m not wearing to others who can really use it. But that dress has managed to survive the cut…until now. Last night, I decided to try it on again after a two-year hiatus. Switching workouts over the past year to include more strength training and Pilates classes meant that my regular clothing size was smaller now than the dress label. Should have been a piece of cake, right? Well, I pulled that sucker on and somewhere in the middle of my hips, it refused to budge. If the dress could speak, it would have taunted me with a “nanny-nanny-boo-boo.”
That’s when I decided to break up with the dress for good. I had to admit that it was never going to fit properly, no matter what I did. I gingerly placed it on top of the donation bag, ready to drop it off tomorrow morning with the other discards. Hopefully its next owner will have a lovely, trouble-free relationship with the garment. My closet and my life don’t have room for petty frustrations anymore. How about you? Any stories to share about clothing breakups?
I’ve had an eight year exercise in frustration with an “aspiration” dress. It was a simple black shift that miraculously fit one day in the dressing room at Nordstrom. I eagerly snapped it up, but sometime between the drive home and hanging it in my closet, it must have shrunk two sizes. Don’t ask me how or why. All I know is that it never, ever fit on its own volition again. Extra-strength Spanx did help, admittedly, when breathing freely was less important than giving that full price purchase a field trip. But most of the time, it hung in a corner of my closet beckoning like a sexy yet aloof boyfriend who you couldn’t stop obsessing over.
Twice a year, I methodically go through my closet when the seasons change to get rid of things that no longer work for me. It’s better to donate what I’m not wearing to others who can really use it. But that dress has managed to survive the cut…until now. Last night, I decided to try it on again after a two-year hiatus. Switching workouts over the past year to include more strength training and Pilates classes meant that my regular clothing size was smaller now than the dress label. Should have been a piece of cake, right? Well, I pulled that sucker on and somewhere in the middle of my hips, it refused to budge. If the dress could speak, it would have taunted me with a “nanny-nanny-boo-boo.”
That’s when I decided to break up with the dress for good. I had to admit that it was never going to fit properly, no matter what I did. I gingerly placed it on top of the donation bag, ready to drop it off tomorrow morning with the other discards. Hopefully its next owner will have a lovely, trouble-free relationship with the garment. My closet and my life don’t have room for petty frustrations anymore. How about you? Any stories to share about clothing breakups?
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Shira, I read that third to the last line as "My closet and my life don't have room for PRETTY frustrations anymore," and I thought, how appropro for this blog about a pretty dress! LOL Of course the real way you wrote it works, too. I've had my share of breakups, too - mostly with jeans. No matter how much I wish I didn't have a flat butt, I'll never ever fill out jeans. I buy them in the hopes they'll magically shrink to fit in the thighs and expand at the waist...but alas, they never do and they end up at Goodwill.
ReplyDeleteI have those things too, where I just so badly want them to look good on me, but they just don't LOL!
ReplyDeleteAh me. I still have clothes from high school I can't part with. Not because I hope they'll fit again, but because I am so sentimental. (AWFUL TRAIT!) Fortunately, with help from a friend, I just donated about six bags of clothes to Goodwill. :) Great blog - keep the fun entries coming!
ReplyDeleteI need to do this again... I suspect that there will be a few things that will have to go now that I have reached my happy weight post plastics.
ReplyDeleteFound your blog via Lynn! I hope in 12 more years to be where you are!